Jonathan
Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 185
|
| Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 11:42 pm Post subject: The funny side of Australian tourism! |
|
|
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour!!
Q. Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q. Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A. Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q. I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A. Sure, it's only three thousand miles, takes lots of water.
Q. Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A. So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q. Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (USA)
A. What did your last slave die of?
Q. Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A. A - f - r - i - c - a is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. A - u - s - t - r - a - l - i - a is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ...... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in King's Cross. Come naked.
Q. Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A. Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q. Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A. Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q. Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A. A-u-s-t-r-ia is that quaint little country bordering Germany, which is ........ oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night straight after the hippo racing. Come naked.
Q. Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A. You are a British politician right?
Q. Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A. No, we are a peaceful civilisation of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q. Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake virus (USA)
A. Rattlesnakes live in A - m - e - r - i - c - a which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q. I have a question about a famous animal in Australia but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees (USA)
A. It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. |
|
